Torchwood: Sleeper

(Originally written 16/9/13) 

In a lot of ways, this episode feels like it belongs back in Series One. We have a rip-off of a classic movie (Terminator II), the Convenient Weevil Powers are used to indicate that something is not right, and the final scene involves a chat between Gwen and Jack.

Meanwhile, Gwen’s sole purpose is to be the caring one - painfully so at some points. Everyone else feels for Beth on some level (except apparently Jack), but Gwen is the only one who truly understands her.

But this episode also sets up what to expect in Series Two when it comes to Ianto and Jack’s new rules of dialogue – the former delivering humorous one-liners 90% of the time, and the latter delivering at least one awful one-liner per episode. This episode’s contender is *shoots sleeper* “Factor that into your plans.”

Speaking of awful lines, the Torchwood team has a mind probe! And while this did eventually dig deep enough to reveal Beth’s true identity, part of me wonders why they didn’t at least start off with the lie detector from Adam...

Speaking of technology, when they mentioned the phone networks being down the first thing I thought of was radio. This is not because I’ve seen the episode before, but because one of the magazines we publish at work is a radio mag, so I know they’re important in an emergency.

Two questions about Beth as a sleeper agent:

• Why did she kill her husband? I don’t recall him having anything to do with their plans, and she was trying to get away from him anyway.
• With each sleeper agent surrounded by a force-field 1mm thick, this has me wondering about how, er, bodily fluids are exchanged.

 I’ve never really had much to say about this episode, but I will say that in Beth’s final scene, I really began to appreciate the acting of Nikki Amuka-Bird, and I finally felt what Beth must have been feeling. Pity I couldn’t feel it for the rest of the episode though.

Since this post is so short, I’ll go into the preview for To The Last Man. And this reminds us that Gwen needs to be told that Tommy is woken up once every 12 months, which means Jack couldn’t have been gone 18 months after Utopia, which means I need a new theory.

Torchwood: Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang

I actually have an excuse for not posting this time! My Internet was down for five days. Granted, it's been longer than that since I posted, but whatever. It's that time of year.

(Originally written 14/9/13, modified 20/12/13)

This episode feels like it’s very deliberately trying to be camp. The opening with the blowfish and the old lady is just hilarious  – though it’s unfortunate how his assessment of the Torchwood team members is quite similar to the Beast’s in The Satan Pit. Meanwhile, the amount of innuendo brought by Captain John is almost too much to take. Oh, and the name of the bar where he met up with Jack? Bar Reunion. Seriously???

It makes sense that with Jack having been gone*, everyone else had to step up and that’s why Tosh and Ianto go on to get more field work this season. But given how much Gwen was struggling to keep Torchwood a secret from Rhys before, how the hell has she managed as leader of the team? And given that in this episode she manages to get easily tricked by John this episode AND taken hostage, how did she manage to lead Torchwood at all?

Another thing that doesn’t make sense is the Gwack. I’m not even saying this as an anti-Gwack person (though it was soooooo painful when she said “Tell Jack I...”), but I’ve just watched all of Season 1 and there actually seems to be hardly any sexual tension between them at all. End of Days shows that she cares for him, sure, but not in a way that she’d give up Rhys for him (especially given her reaction to her boyfriend’s “death”). And the last time before that appeared to be in They Keep Killing Suzie, when she gives him a look across the room (right before Ianto uses a more direct method with the Stopwatch Line). It seems like something they brought in to stir up tension in Season 2, so I’m not looking forward to that.

I’ve got a couple of unanswered questions. Firstly, John and the blowfish appear to know each other, as the blowfish has the final piece of the “diamond tracker” in his pocket. I don’t recall ever noticing this, and I don’t understand what their relationship would have been. Was the blowfish working for the dead girlfriend, or for John, or for himself?

Secondly, Andy turns up briefly at the beginning, and he seems to have some recollection that Gwen deals in “spooky-dos”. Does this mean he remembers the events of End of Days and hasn’t been retconned? Does that mean he accepts that his former colleague deals with weird time/space events on a regular basis? Is Torchwood okay with this?

TW members being shot this season so far: 1 (Owen). I’m going to try and keep a tally in order to prove my point that they really should invest in some bulletproof vests.

So not a great set-up for the rest of the season, but it’s nice to have a new mystery in “Who is Gray?” Makes a change from “Who is Jack?”, in which most of the audience knew enough about him not to care about much else.

*Has anyone ever managed to figure out how long Jack was gone for? I always got the impression that hardly any time should have passed between Utopia and the end of LotTL. A friend of mine suggested that The Sound of Drums is actually set months after Utopia, to which I replied that maybe it's set some time after the election if it takes a while to come into power (I don't know how British politics works) - but that still doesn't explain how the last place the TARDIS travelled was "right here right now", which was to pick up Jack (in Cardiff). I personally always thought the "18 months" line in Sound of Drums was to do with the TARDIS bringing the Master back 18 months earlier, but maybe it was to do with the Doctor bringing the others back 18 months later? That could work if Utopia is set way before Doctor met Martha, though I never thought Jack could be away for 18 months. If anyone has any thoughts on this vital matter, please let me know.

Torchwood: End of Days

Three weeks? I don't believe it. But as the 50th anniversary celebrations are (almost) behind me, hopefully I can find some more time for this.

(Originally written 10/9/13)

I like that this is a season finale which draws on lots of things which have been happening throughout the season, as opposed to One Underlying Mystery. Though I’m not one who subscribes to the idea that Torchwood Three are fundamentally crap at their jobs (unlike some people I know), it is funny to think that this is the climax of that crapness. Whoops, we opened the Rift and now people are out of time, whoops, we opened the Rift again and now Abaddon is killing everyone.

But what is it that finally causes one of Torchwood’s employees to get the sack? Not secretly bringing a Cyberwoman/alien lesbian into the base, or misusing alien technology – no, it was Owen asking Jack who he is (after defending his opening of the Rift). I have to admit that I side with Owen on this one, as Jack never actually says that they should have been left in 1941 (in fact he didn’t seem to mind Tosh leaving the equation everywhere at the time). Furthermore, Jack wasn’t helping in the slightest – he wouldn’t say who he is and he wouldn’t offer an alternative. Besides, why does the Rift Manipulator even exist if they’re not allowed to use it?

There were a lot of big moments for Gwen this episode. She got totally burned by Jack when she argued “All your staff have feelings, Jack - even Owen” and Jack retorted “Well, you would know” (I didn’t know anyone besides Tosh knew about the affair?). Then she finally realises how important Rhys is to her when he’s so brutally killed – what a heart-wrenching reaction from Gwen. A bit of a shame though that it’s so similar to Rory’s death in Amy’s Choice:

• Amy/Gwen have been fooling around behind their boyfriend’s back
• Boyfriend is tragically killed
• “What is the (fucking) point of you?”
• Boyfriend comes back to life

There was also a similarity to Combat – in that episode the Weevils were said to be telepathic and to feel each other’s pain, whereas in this episode they’re said to be time-sensitive. I can’t tell if the writers are trying to actually make the Weevils more interesting creatures, or just giving them new powers every time they need to explain something in a hurry.

And if we’re talking about parallels, I’ve got to mention the elephant in the room – Jack as Jesus. First he’s betrayed by those closest to him, then he has to die to save us all, then he comes back to life after a few days. That’s painfully obvious.

And why was Jack so weak coming back after being shot? Pretty sure he’s always been fine coming back from the dead, except after Abaddon. I wonder if it’s just so they had an excuse for him to lean on Ianto? I certainly got my usual warm fuzzy feeling when they kissed.

This season was honestly a lot of fun. Even when the characters did stupid things, the stories were interesting and went in a lot of different directions. I’m a bit more familiar with Series 2, so we’ll see if it gives me as many surprises as this one did.

Torchwood: Captain Jack Harkness

(Originally written 7/9/13, modified 18/11/13)

It might be because I kept Facebook on during the run of this episode, but I’m not quite sure what to think of it. It was a great moment when the other Jack introduced himself – I wish I could remember my surprise the first time I saw it! But something which surprised me this time was Jack’s announcement that he went to war as a boy. I'd like to hear some more on that.

 Murray Melvin gave a very eccentric performance as Bilis Manger. He seems to be like Suzie when it comes to planning ahead – make anonymous tips about the building in the hope that the Torchwood team will investigate, trap some of them in the past, let the others find parts of the equation and the Rift machine (which looks like the TARDIS's central column!) but only some, so they’ll open the Rift but it’ll have consequences... Unfortunately, I couldn't quite believe Owen's decision-making process when he was searching for Bilis' clues. “Oo, there’s a tablecloth there – I bet there’s something underneath it! Oo, there are lots of clocks with different times in here – I bet there’s something in the grandfather one!”

I did quite enjoy the Owen/Ianto interaction, since I don’t think there’s been a lot of it. Owen’s so reckless, and Ianto’s so cautious. It’d be nice to know what Jack thought of the end result though – who was in the right? In true Torchwood fashion, no one was told off. One thing that particularly struck me was the fact that I’d misheard the "part-time shag" line the first time I heard it, as I thought that’s what Ianto was – whereas the line says he’s that “in your sad, wet dreams”. This changes things a bit – I’d thought Owen was effectively calling Ianto Jack’s bitch, but the actual line implies that he just wishes he was Jack’s bitch. So where does this leave their relationship? Have they been shagging since Suzie, or was that a one-off? Do we actually see their relationship proper commence from Series 2?

(As for the Jack/Jack relationship, I didn’t quite buy it but it was saved by the beautiful music when they were dancing together.)

Just a quick word on Tosh – it was good to see some more of her, and to see how she coped out of her time. But I’m going to bring up a continuity point here – when Jack apologises for dragging her “into this”, she says, “It was my choice”. I assume she means joining Torchwood in the first place, and from Fragments we know that she really didn’t have much of a choice. I've already mentioned how that story doesn't really align with how we view Owen, but I guess I'll have more to say on that when I come to it.

Torchwood: Combat

(Originally written 2/9/13, modified 11/11/13)

I’ve only seen this episode once before, and I recalled a lot more fighting than what I saw here. There was a lot more mystery and build-up than what I expected, all boiling down to about ten seconds of Owen in the cage. And then in a scene which I’d completely forgotten, he returns to the Hub and he’s apparently King of the Weevils? What? I thought this only happened in Series Two after he died! Or did that enhance his newfound Weevil powers or something? And since when are Weevils telepathic? Does that happen only to drive the plot of this episode?

I found that despite this episode focusing on Owen, the rest of the team all get a good amount of screentime, especially Tosh and Ianto. My only problem with this is that Ianto definitely seems a lot closer to Jack now (from the way he follows him around obediently), yet we’ve seen no development on this front since the Stopwatch Scene, so there’s no real reason for it.

As for Gwen, I was told by friends to look out for the famous "pizza scene", where after retconning Rhys she come to the Hub with pizza, only to find no one else there and she breaks down crying. It was definitely a good scene - I could very much believe her crying (as opposed to, say, Ianto’s in Cyberwoman) and it was a funny little moment when she tried to report to Jack but realised her headset wasn’t on. I can’t really praise her acting in the retcon scene though because Gwen’s actions just make me too angry. Forgiveness doesn’t work if the person doesn’t remember doing it (and retcon never works that fast, by the way). And earlier, I couldn’t quite believe her being so down about breaking the news about Dan Hodges to his family because she’s meant to be the one who actually thinks about that sort of stuff – she only just went through the whole process with Eugene! Unless she’s sick of it now?

There were other bits that seemed a bit off to me. A couple of Owen’s lines were pretty painfully clichéd – in the bar at the beginning he says “The bigger the crowd, the more alone I feel”, and when told to go undercover he admits “I could do with being someone else right now”. Jack’s lines had some problems too, but they were down to poor delivery by John Barrowman. And when Owen was telling Jack in the hospital that he didn’t want to be saved, it could have been a prime opportunity to mention how Jack let John die last week but Owen has more to live for. But there was nothing.

To end on a completely inappropriate note, Dan Hodges' ringtone was the Crazy Frog. That has not dated well.

Torchwood: Out of Time

(Originally writtten 26/8/13, modified 7/11/13)

This episode is all at once heart-breaking, hilarious and horrifying.

Heart-breaking

From the moment we see these three displaced travellers, standing with their suitcases and separated forever from what and who they know, I felt sorry for them. Within five minutes I was close to crying, helped along by the soft, subtle music. When it got to the Alzheimer’s scene, I was absolutely bawling. 

And while John’s suicide didn’t overly affect me, I loved how they paralleled his displacement with Jack’s. Even though this episode isn’t about Jack, all it takes is a few conversations with John for the non-Whovians to know a little more about him, and even for the Whovians to realise how he must feel. After watching him in that car next to the dying John, I couldn’t help but wonder how many times Jack had considered – or wished he could carry out – such an act himself.

Hilarious

After the first few minutes, the mood is lightened by a trip to the supermarket. I like how this immediately gives our trio a sense of hope and wonder, with even John happy to see so much food available after rationing – though I did find it slightly unfortunate that the person most excited to go shopping was teenage-girl Emma.

Speaking of Emma, Gwen’s sex talk with her was a surprisingly clever and funny way to highlight her recent antics, as she is the least appropriate person ever to explain sexual etiquette. As for Emma seeing Rhys naked, it’s a funny moment but doesn’t really make sense – it looks like Gwen was home throughout the whole night, so why didn’t she tell Rhys about Emma before the morning? So they could have that joke, that’s why. 

There were also a couple of Owen moments which I found (unintentionally) hilarious. When he gave Diane her red dress, it was all a bit, “You look so sexy, Lisa!” And when Diane ran out on him, I was glad he was getting his comeuppance for all the other times he’s no doubt treated women like shit. Speaking of Owen...

Horrifying

I had to shield my eyes when Owen and Diane were having sex. Then shield my ears when he talked about “What your face looks like when you cum”. Please, stop talking about cum, Owen. It kinda baffles me that John Barrowman is meant to be the sexy star of this show, yet we have to wait until Miracle Day for Jack sex scenes.

Anyway... so why wasn’t Owen a douche this episode? He pretty much does not make a single sexist remark – Diane doesn’t have to do anything to break through his supposedly harsh exterior. And then he acts like he’s never been in love before and it doesn’t fit with Series 2's Fragments (even though it’s not explicitly stated that he’s never felt love, it’s implied). Then Diane asks Owen if he has a girlfriend because he owns beauty products, which I've been told is a gag about consumer culture but completely misses the fact that Owen already has a lover in Gwen. What a missed opportunity.

Finally, it’s a shame that Tosh and Ianto were sidelined so much this episode. I get that there were three travellers, and three members of Torchwood to match them with, but the others needed some more acknowledgement – Ianto wasn’t even around to introduce himself when they first reach the base. Oh well – it was a very good episode nonetheless. 

Torchwood: Random Shoes

(Originally written 24/8/13)

In following the life and death of nice guy Eugene Jones, we have a rather nice episode – certainly with a lighter take on death than last week’s. But I feel that in order to accommodate this niceness, a few changes must be made to what we already know about the members of Torchwood. We know Owen is a douche, but he’s also shagging Gwen, and given that she almost died last week you’d think that he’d be looking out for her a bit more. Instead, he’s making fun of her for caring so much (more on that later) and asking that she do his job for him (i.e. the autopsy). It’s pretty obvious that their affair was retconned so there could be room for Eugene to be Gwen’s love interest for this episode, which brings its own problems. 

Since we’re already retconning the lover, let’s go ahead and retcon the boyfriend as well, shall we? Eugene spends the majority of this episode following Gwen around yet he never seems to follow her home to Rhys, who apparently has no qualms with Gwen going off to stay in a hotel by herself for the weekend (does special ops take business trips?). Here Eugene declares his love for her, which is kinda uncomfortable given that he’s only ever had one-sided conversations with her. I did wonder if perhaps the reason Gwen can sense him is not because she’s Super Special, but because Eugene is projecting onto her or something because of his feelings for her. But why does he have such feelings in the first place? Because Gwen is Super Special, surely. Eugh, you just can’t get around it.

As for the rest of the plot, I kind of felt the same way as I did in Countrycide, where I couldn’t get into the mystery (in this case, of the bidder and why Eugene died), because I knew it already (although I’d forgotten that the eye made Eugene a ghost, which I thought was pretty cool). There is one mystery which I’m still yet to solve, and have wondered since I first saw the episode: why the hell were Torchwood called in to what looked like (and indeed was) an ordinary hit and run?? Surely they weren’t keeping an eye on Eugene because they knew he knew about them?

My favourite thing about the episode would be the direction. I like the feel of being inside Eugene’s imagination, with the whizzing through space and the eye spinning like a planet – though I did think the Starman track briefly drew even more parallels between Eugene and Love and Monsters' Elton. I definitely care about Eugene as a character, which is more than I can say for Elton. I would have liked him even more if he hadn’t fallen for Gwen.

Torchwood: They Keep Killing Suzie

(Originally written 19/8/13)

Suzie Costello is a complex character. On one hand, she probably did use her meetings at Pilgrim to vent about working at Torchwood, so in that sense she’s no different from the other characters (Gwen, Tosh) who’ve sought ways to express everything they’ve been keeping bottled up. On the other hand, she meticulously planned her return from the dead, so she obviously knew that what she was doing was wrong but didn’t care. On one hand, coming back from the dead has given her quite a philosophical outlook, as she discusses the meaning of life with Gwen in the car. On the other hand, she laughs maniacally towards the end when she realises she still can’t die. So she isn’t an out-and-out villain. Although, speaking of “out”, she does appear to kiss Gwen on the lips soon before she dies, so is that her compulsory queer moment?

And speaking of Gwen, this episode is all about her compassion – not only towards Suzie, but towards all those other people who she brought back to life, because the glove works best for empathic, compassionate people (who conduct affairs with their co-workers and avoid going home to their sweet live-in boyfriends. And apparently Owen was shagging Suzie as well. What a classy guy.). And what appeared to be one of Gwen’s strongest moments in this episode – defending Suzie’s actions to Jack – was made redundant when it turned out that Suzie didn’t actually become obsessed with the glove because she wanted to her father to recover from cancer, because she actually hated her father. So well done Gwen. And extra points for apparently being employed by Torchwood for three months before finding out that they take all your possessions – and your body – when you die and lock it all away.

(I also thought there should be some sly mention of the fact that Gwen was feeling unwell before we were informed by Owen that she had two hours to live. And that having Gwen wearing eyeliner initially, before removing it to make her look unwell, probably isn’t the best decision by the make-up team.)

Mind you, it’s really Jack’s fault for keeping Gwen around, especially since he claims he’s going to fire her when he sees her heading out with Suzie. But maybe he was distracted throughout this episode, since he seems to find himself quite impressed with the antics of Ianto (from naming the various devices to getting phone reception), culminating in the famous Stopwatch Scene. I couldn’t help but smile throughout this scene, but surely that’s only because I know eventuates from it. It could have had so much more of an impact at the time if there was any sort of a hint that Ianto was ready to move on (in a big way) from Lisa. Oh well, now it’s happened, so I’ll be keeping a lookout for any further references to this relationship. 

The best thing about the episode though? Detective Swanson: a highly entertaining character who’s quite happy to put Torchwood in their place. It’s a pity we never see her again.

Torchwood: Greeks Bearing Gifts

(Originally written 13/8/13, modified 29/10/13)

It was nice to have an episode focusing on Tosh for once, though I don’t know how well it matches with what we’ve seen before. Tosh supposedly has a “stick up her arse”, but just like the others, she was taking things from the base back in Everything Changes. Maybe we’re just not meant to have noticed things from her point of view until now.

 

This episode also did a pretty good job of progressing the other characters’ developments, especially the increasing intimacy between Gwen and Owen (thankfully not from Gwen’s point of view). It’s quite odd to see Gwen so relaxed around Torchwood – is this a result of the affair? In any case, this time it’s Tosh’s turn to be the wide-eyed outsider. In fact, she follows a similar development to Gwen last episode in that she needs to share her experiences with someone else, and ends up in a sexual relationship because of it (though this time there is actually talking involved). I also liked all the little hints at her past with Owen, knowing what ends up happening between them next season.

We hear about how Ianto’s coping (or not) with Lisa’s death – unfortunately though, he actually only had one spoken line, and I think three lines of thought. Not great for his character. We also learn some more about the mystery of Jack, with the revelation that Tosh can’t read his mind. But there were some old-fashioned Jack antics in there as well, with his story about his friend Vincent/Vanessa. This line has sparked some controversy because it implies Jack is "nervous" about transgender people, but with John Barrowman's casual delivery, I interpreted the line as simply showing Jack's experience (in sexuality) to give him skills in other matters (knowing when someone is having an inner battle).

I quite liked the distinctive direction, with its zooms and slow-mos, as it was a fitting way to portray how Tosh experienced the world when she was wearing the pendant. I also liked the insights into Mary’s culture and people, emphasising how different it is (e.g. she finds it off-putting watching mouths talk). But then this just emphasised how weird it is that an alien partakes in the quite human activity of smoking. I suppose since she’s practically immortal, she doesn’t have to worry about getting cancer?

That’s pretty much all I have to say on this one. Quite good in itself, quite good as part of an ongoing story, but nothing amazing. And no matter how many times I hear it, the action figure line sounds really unnatural.

Torchwood: Countrycide

Trying to fit in posts before work now. Let's see how long this lasts.

(Originally written 12/8/13) 

I started out quite enjoying this episode, but after a while it became apparent that the atmosphere is very much based on the idea of not knowing what the monster is. Since I did know what the monster is, that feeling of anticipation was kind of ruined.

In fact, there was, I feel, quite an early clue that the monster was closer to being human – the body on the road, whose head was just a soccer ball in a hoodie. This sort of disguise seems like something a human – someone more familiar with our ways – would do, as opposed to a savage alien beast. Of course, the diegetic music from the car radio, singing, “Is it a monster?”, is meant to subtly lead us in the other direction.

I was pleased that all the characters got a good amount of screentime in this episode. Jack probably got the least, but he was able to come across as quite scary when he was threatening the guy with torture, and his slow-mo shooting was, it has to be said, pretty awesome. I was confused about his glaring at Ianto early on though, after Lisa was mentioned – isn’t the guy allowed to grieve for his girlfriend? Especially since Gwen (unintentionally) brought it up with her stupid kissing game. This reminded me of her bemusement at the idea that no one else had a “partner” in Day One; that same idea of superiority because she has such a great love life.

And yet, this is the episode in which she officially hooks up with Owen. This is after he acted like a complete arsehole at the beginning, ranting about how much he hates the countryside and getting uncomfortably rapey when he pushed her up against the tree (I thought Ghost Machine made you change, Owen!). But later, he saves her life with his Amazing Doctor Skills, so that apparently counters how he acts the other 90% of the time.

And it’s implied that they get together so they (mainly Gwen) can be open about their experiences (presumably because Gwen was so disturbed by this latest outing), but I don’t quite buy this. It’s pretty well established that Owen wants to shag her – that’s what the whole tree conversation was all about (I think we all know the line). Does he actually stop and talk about his feelings with her? Does she do so with him? They’re not in love, it’s more or less a purely physical relationship (as far as we can see), so unless I see evidence to the contrary, it seems like Gwen is just looking for excuses and Owen is taking advantage of her.

Meanwhile, Ianto takes on the role of the Torchwood rookie, openly asking Tosh how she can enjoy the danger so much. I can't remember if he has any more character development along these lines as the season progresses. I hope he does.

Torchwood: Small Worlds

Apologies to anyone who has been eagerly awaiting the next update (so, no one). Planning for Armageddon Melbourne got in the way, then actual Armageddon Melbourne, then the aftermath of Armageddon Melbourne. I'm also planning on spending November editing the novel I wrote last year for NaNoWriMo and haven't touched since - in fact, it turns out I lost the complete first draft earlier this year, so I've got to re-write about 5,000 words. So that's fun.

So without any further ado, I present my review of Torchwood: Small Worlds - originally written 8/8/13. And the main feeling I have about this episode is confusion.

  Why is Jack sleeping in what looks like a really awkward position, and what are the odds that he would happen to dream about an old encounter with Torchwood’s latest threat (maybe a side effect of the Rift?)?

How come ‘computer genius’ Tosh can assess the paedophile’s cause of death? Shouldn’t Owen have been brought along for that (or does this suggest that Tosh does indeed have some medical knowledge, hence the reason why she was capable of going undercover in Owen’s place in Aliens of London)? 

(Speaking of paedophiles, does anyone else find it kinda uncomfortable that Jack fell in love with Estelle at first sight when she was 17?)

When Torchwood keeps driving around to places connected to the fairies, why are they accepted with open arms? The police and military may have some idea that Torchwood is ‘special ops’, but the school and Jasmine’s mum wouldn’t. Speaking of which, how the hell is Torchwood going to cover up/retcon the events of the party? A man died, a child disappeared, and there were heaps of guests who were evacuated and very well could have driven away. 

Another confusing thing is not just in relation to the episode but the show in general. If Captain Jack Harkness disappeared from history in 1941, how has Jack managed to stay off the records for so long? I suppose Torchwood might have wiped the records, but Jack has met so many people along the way (whose memories haven’t been wiped) and never used a different name, yet it never seems to have caused any trouble. 

I think the thing I liked most about this episode was the characterisation of Gwen. Gwen usually thinks she’s better than everyone else, whereas here, she’s simply sceptical about the fairies because she wants to think logically. Gwen usually looks longingly at Jack and follows him around like a puppy, whereas here, she is accepting of his relationship with Estelle but is also visibly upset after the fairies broke into her house. She doesn’t take any shit.  

Other things I liked were the reference to the Mara (although this is apparently a coincidence?) and the ending (though it would have been nice if it wasn’t a rip-off of The Shining). Things I disliked were the music (after the umpteenth time) and the fact that Estelle died because she went looking for the freaking cat.

After Cyberwoman, I said I’d “search very hard for any hints as to why [Ianto] might want to become Jack’s fuckbuddy”. Well, this episode opens with both Jack and Ianto hanging around the office in the wee hours of the morning (before Jack rubs Ianto’s shoulder quite thoroughly). Even if Janto wasn’t a thing back then, I feel this scene could have been expanded on, just a bit, to show that Ianto’s working late to make up for what happened with Lisa. He’s trying hard to earn Jack’s trust back, and that would have been the perfect launching pad for their relationship. But... no.   

Torchwood: Cyberwoman

First of all - yes, I am aware of the current big news of the Whoniverse (the discovery of Enemy of the World and The Web of Fear) and yes, I do intend to blog about them soon. I was up 'til midnight last night watching Enemy, which would have been fine if I didn't have to be in the city at 8 this morning gearing up to meet Simon Fisher-Becker (Dorium Maldovar) and Ian McNeice (Winston Churchill) at Lords of Time 1.5. So for the moment, you're getting a nice pre-written post.

(Originally written 5/8/13, modified 12/10/13)

This episode has a bit of a reputation for being, well, crap. I knew this going into it, especially after the amazing Ghost Machine, but I have to admit that I didn’t hate the episode - in fact, I found it an enjoyably cheesy way to spend an hour of my time. I laughed so hard at Rhys’s request for Wife Swap to be taped; and when Lisa said “This building belongs to me now”, I couldn’t help but think “All your base are belong to us”.

Comparing Ianto’s actions to, say, Suzie’s a more than a bit unfair. Sure the guy did the wrong thing, but he never wanted anyone to get hurt. He wanted to save a life, and even if that life was his girlfriend’s, you can’t call his actions totally selfish. Having said that, I do wonder if one of the reasons he was allowed to stay at Torchwood is because without Lisa, there was nothing else left for him. And now I’m going to search very hard for any hints as to why he might want to become Jack’s fuckbuddy. 

There were a couple of things that seemed to be set up at the start purely so they could be used later on. Myfanwy flies around during the basketball game so she can maul Lisa later on, and Ianto orders pizza so the delivery girl can have her head opened up. (She really took her time, btw).

And of course, there were some quite problematic elements. At the beginning when Ianto’s showing Lisa to the cybernetics experts, he exclaims, “My God!” Meanwhile, I was cringily saying, “Oh God” as I saw Lisa’s cyber-bikini line. I think it bothers me more than the breasts, because while they’re at least covered by the armour, her bikini is shaped by it.

So not only is the monster fetishised because it’s a woman, but it’s also a woman of colour. As far as I can recall this is the first black person in the series, and she’s a villain – and to be quite honest, Lisa’s facial features seem to be intended to make her look even more monstrous; an effect which I don’t think would have been achieved the same way with a white woman. Then, this is arguably repeated next season in Sleeper.

I had issues with both kissing scenes. I’ve never quite worked out whether Jack was meant to be resuscitating Ianto or not – surely he’d been lying there for too long anyway? So tonight I determined that he was “doing a Donna” and trying to shock him awake. As for Gwen and Owen, I know this is cliché, but if your characters are going to shack up whilst being forced to lie on top of each other, I’d prefer if there was some sexual tension between them first. In fact, I think Gwen’s whole arc may have been improved if it was simplified – instead of her having an affair with the bad boy while fancying the boss, why couldn’t she just fancy/have an affair with the bad boy? I reckon it would represent her decaying moral compass a lot better.

I also didn’t like the quick cutting, like when Lisa was being moved and Ianto was crying.

Okay, so the episode had its problematic elements, but I still wouldn't call it awful. The worst episode of this season remains Day One... for now.